peace in the corner

I have an 18 year old son.  To his credit and his detriment, he is very intelligent.

I was passing along some fine words of fatherly wisdom this morning and I reminded him in life that he should never paint himself into a corner.

His response was one I have not heard before.

“Yea dad, I get that…but you know, to be honest, if I ever do paint myself into a corner, at least I know that eventually the paint will dry.  I don’t think I need to freak out or give up all hope.  I’ll just get comfortable until the paint dries and maybe even appreciate some time alone in the corner.”

Now, as a dad, I want to be sure he knows that some things in life we can’t come back from and to be careful and take life seriously and all of those other things we parents want our kids to understand so they won’t get hurt.

On the other hand, his response pushed me to consider a different perspective. 

I realize that at times in my own life I have felt trapped, painted into a corner, hopeless and the like.  Sometimes these were due to my own choices while other times life’s circumstance just came crashing down.  And, having more life to live, I am likely to find myself in that place again one day. 

Sometimes when we find ourselves painted into these corners we try pretending there is no problem and so we just trample all over the wet paint and leave a mess wherever we walk, all the time whistling and feigning bliss.  Other times, we freeze and curl up and sink into despair so that even when the paint is dry, we remain in sorrow, fear, and isolation.

My son reminded me that there is another way.  The way of acceptance. 

Acceptance does not mean that I like my problems/pain/corner or that I am not affected by them.  It means that I recognize what I cannot change and I allow myself to be present with the moment and with reality.  Acceptance does not mean that my problem is fixed.  It means that I can see clearly and work towards solution.  Acceptance does not mean that I will not have pain or feel lost.  It means that in the midst of pain and loss, I can have hope.

I wish that my son would never feel pain, loss, sorrow and the like. 

He will though. 

I hope when he does that he remembers that the paint will dry.  I hope he remembers that he can own that corner and even experience peace in the waiting.